Simon Artesian, Reality’s Champion

Simon Artesian was a vampire hunter.  Well, not vampires precisely, or werewolves or zombies or any other of the names we use for what haunts us in our weak times—it would be most accurate to say that Simon Artesion hunted predators.  Not predators of humans, though humans sometimes were caught in their plane and devoured, but predators of the beings we don’t see that keep our universe running.  Most humans don’t really know much about this, and when thinking of a Prime Mover or Omnimpotent Being, fail to consider that these forces we ascribe to giants are actually the works of a vast civilization of creatures into whose substance the fabric of reality is woven.  Or some such analogy– because it is impossible to truly describe them in words, they don’t exist in quite the same way as us, and can only be properly imagined when… imagined.  “Chattering Elf Machines” can hardly do justice to their individual majesty or the miraculous fact of their existence.  In any case, everything we know is driven by their energistic output.  Whether we are a side effect of their existence or are purposefully tended is up for debate, but it is undeniable that the prime forces of the universe issue forth from the Tenders, and if they were to die, our sun would go out.  So Simon Artesian hunted their predators.

 Simon Artesian had powers.  These powers were mostly perceptive, but could manifest themselves in other ways, at occasionally strange times.  Neither Simon’s mother nor the doctors were aware she had conceived nine days before, and the psychoactive drug tests went smoothly, although there was strangely little effect, so they repeated the dose three days later.  This time too, Sarah’s vitals remained the same, and other than a little tingling in the back of her neck and the base of her spine reported no changes in her mental state.


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